Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't
by Lady Hiko
Summary: Alone and trapped in a cabin covered in snow with the girl you love. What has happened earlier has caused her to become nude and possibly you too. Every guy’s dream, right? Normally, yes, but when you think of the consequences, let’s just say erm…Wh


Title: Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't  
  
Author: Lady Hiko  
  
Genre: Inu Yasha  
  
Chapter: 1/1  
  
Rating: PG -ish  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the snow. I do not know why the wind blows. There is something that I thought you should know, and that is that do not own this show.  
  
Summary: Alone and trapped in a cabin covered in snow with the girl you love. What has happened earlier has caused her to become nude and possibly you too. Every guy's dream, right? Normally, yes, but when you think of the consequences, let's just say erm…What is silver and gold and red all over? Something that would probably kill you. Read on to see what I mean in 'Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't".  
  
The sun peaked slowly over the horizon as he sat impatiently near the well, his nose sniffing for any trace of her return. It had been a while since he figured where she went when her scent was far away.  
  
He peered his head over the edge of the well and gazed deep into its depths marveling how she could disappear into them. He too had tried once or twice to follow her, but the result was always the same.  
  
That being, of course, SPLAT!  
  
How on earth both Kagome and Dog Shit got through that well, he would never know. He thought his jewel shards would let him through, but apparently that theory was proven false.  
  
Dark locks of silken hair blew in his face and he imagined how Kagome looked last time he had seen her. She was upset, which of course, because of Dog Shit.  
  
The cool wind spiraled snow around him and that's when he picked up her scent. He immediately bolted upright. He could hear her sputtering and muttering at the base of the well about the annoyance of the cold and Inu Yasha's insane idea of going out in the middle of this kind of weather for jewel shards.  
  
"He's friggen nuts! I don't wanna…" she yelled from the bottom of the well, but was cut off abruptly as she noticed the sudden appearance of another body in the well.  
  
"Oi! Kagome! Want a lift?" he yelled, extending his hand to her.  
  
She nodded in a complete stupor as he leapt out of the well with her over his shoulder. Since when did Kouga know about the well?  
  
"You know Kagome, you're right. It is friggen cold out here," he muttered, rubbing his arms for emphasis.  
  
"Kouga? How'd you know to find me at the well?"  
  
He momentarily stopped his 'shivering' and struck one of his 'oh so stunning' poses, replying, "'Cause your sweet scent was all over it….erm, that and I saw Dog Shit kick it. I just kinda figured that's where you went." 'That and I tried following you a couple of times,' he mentally added.  
  
"Okay…"  
  
"Anyways, I just thought I'd come to visit you. You know, if nothing else, to make sure you got back over by Dog Shit without freezing to death."  
  
"Kouga," she said, stretching his name in irritation. "Can you please not call him that? He does have a name you know."  
  
"Oh! Gomen nasai. I'll try, key word *TRY* not to call him that. So, where is Mutt Face anyways?" He caught her glare and corrected himself. "Where is Dog Breath…?" Another glare. "Inu Yasha? Hey! I am trying you know!"  
  
"Better," she muttered before continuing. "He's over in Kaede's village. I can make it just fine on my oooowwwwnnn!"  
  
Kouga had already picked her up before she could even finish her sentence and began running in the proper direction.  
  
As expected, they arrived within a matter of minutes, the tornado-like effect that Kouga's running always made disturbing the livestock and stirring the villagers alike. And, of course, by doing so they attracted the attention of Kaede herself.  
  
"Kagome," she said as she stepped from her hut, but cut herself short as she noticed Kouga. "Is this why ye is not with Inu Yasha? Has ye taken to another?"  
  
Kouga, being well… Kouga, immediately ran up to Kaede and grasping both of her elderly hands firmly began rambling, "What a perceptive miko you are! Why yes, Kagome has left dog breath in the dirt in order to take me as her mate…"  
  
Luckily his tirade was cut off shortly by Kagome's fist to his head.  
  
Grabbing his head, he immediately yelled, "Oi! Kagome! What was that for?!"  
  
Taking a deep breath she quietly asked Kaede to excuse her for a moment and then immediately turned to Kouga. She let forth what could be easily be considered an eruption from a volcano since her mouth was steaming as she was yelling.  
  
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING?! I AM NEITHER YOURS NOR ANYONE ELSE'S, SO STOP SAYING THOSE THINGS! GOT IT?!"  
  
Kouga cowered behind Kaede and began yelling, "Oh yeah?! What about that damn Mutt Face?! You take a whole lot of shit from him and I'm always seeing you go back apologizing! You deserve better than that Kagome!"  
  
"Three things Kouga! One, his name is Inu Yasha, not Mutt Face, Dog Shit, or whatever else you decide to call him! Two, how long have you been following me?! And three, if you've been following me so god damn much that you can tell we fight, why haven't you been helping any?! Yeah, Inu Yasha can be a jerk sometimes but at least he's there for me! You have no right to talk that way!"  
  
Kouga just stood there dumbfounded as Kaede physically removed herself from in front of Kouga, rubbing the angry spit from her face and muttered, " Great, not another lover's quarrel. The reincarnation of my sister certainly has a thing for canines."  
  
Out from in between the two, she continued by saying, "I refuse to be in the middle of this. Inu Yasha headed north about six hours ago with your companions to investigate some rumors of a jewel shard. If ye two want to ye can go over there and argue in front of him and settle this. As of now I wash my hands of this matter." With that she immediately ambled into her hut leaving stunned villagers to look onward.  
  
"What the?!" Kagome yelled. "He left without me?! And he's the one always complaining about me being late! Why didn't he come and get me?! That bastard!"  
  
Trying to redeem himself, Kouga wandered over to her and offered a lift, "Come on. If I carry you we can meet him in about a half an hour."  
  
Kagome momentarily broke from her tirade, she humphed and calmly said, "No thank you. I would rather not be touched by ANY canines at the moment." She then continued her previous tirade and began walking north.  
  
"Oi! Kagome! Wait for me!" He yelled as he ran after her.  
  
"Catch up on your own wolf boy!"  
  
"Oh come on Kagome! I'm sorry! Really!"  
  
Six hours north of their position a certain hanyou in red suddenly got a shiver and sneezed.  
  
"Why do I have a sudden sinking feeling someone is very angry with me right now?" he muttered to himself as he walked.  
  
"What did you say Inu Yasha?"  
  
"Nothing Miroku. Nothing."  
  
Making slow process - which was mostly due to her anger - Kouga and Kagome were getting pretty much nowhere. Kagome was still rather pissed and Kouga was still apologizing, so naturally they didn't notice as the snow began to fall. However, once it began to pile on top of Kagome's seething head, Kouga began to notice.  
  
"Uh Kagome," Kouga began, fearful as he broke her tirade.  
  
"WHAT?!"   
  
Kouga winced at her still extremely evident anger before continuing. Even a gentleman such as Kouga knew that now was a time to approach things tentatively. "It's really starting to snow. Don't you think we should find some shelter?"  
  
"What?! And be left alone somewhere with you?! Are you crazy?! I'm not stopping anywhere until I'm under Inu Yasha's protection. Got that?!"  
  
Kouga gulped and nodded, but of course, being the Kouga he was, he pressed further, "Why do you now trust Inu Yasha and not me? Aren't you mad at him as well?"  
  
Immediately receiving a death glare powerful enough to wilt a bush, he shut up and walked quietly behind her. Yes, Kouga learned not to mess with an angry woman, especially when the snow melts from her head in anger…  
  
Several hours ahead of the brooding two the rest of the group decided to seek shelter, figuring that the jewel would be better tracked tomorrow after the snow had finished falling. Inu Yasha laid to sleep next to Miroku for obvious reasons (a.k.a. making sure Miroku didn't make any moves towards their co-ed) and left Shippou to guard Sango. He closed his eyes peacefully thanking whatever deity that he didn't drag Kagome into this cold night.  
  
However true his thought was - considering HE didn't drag her into the cold - he was wrong to think she was safe and warm as she walked into the cold night with Kouga by her side.  
  
"Kagome-sama," Kouga began, thinking that maybe flattery would help this time. "The snow has really picked up. I really think you should consider getting some shelter because although I can handle it, I don't think you can."  
  
Sneezing and wiping her runny nose Kagome grumpily replied, "I'm fine. I'm not stopping until we reach Inu Yasha."  
  
"Well at least let me carry you…"  
  
"NO! I don't want any help from any canine at the moment! I may just have the right of mind to chew you both out as soon as we get…"  
  
However her sentence wasn't completed as suddenly the only thing in Kouga's vision was her giant yellow backpack.  
  
"Kagome?" he asked, staring at the backpack dumbfounded. However, soon he started to panic and began yelling her name frantically, "KAGOME? KAGOME! WHERE ARE YOU?"  
  
Hearing a distinct crack as he stepped forward, he realized that they were standing on thin ice hidden by the snow and swiftly lifted the pack up, luckily with Kagome still attached.  
  
"KAGOME!"  
  
She coughed and shivered violently in his arms, her pretty brown eyes cold and wet.  
  
'Shimmatta! Kagome, why didn't you let me lead you to shelter?' he thought as he held her close and began running further north looking for anything to get her out of the cold and snow.  
  
Moving as fast as his feet would carry them, he zipped across the barely frozen water, the ice shattering in his wake as he went. Barreling through shifting pieces and almost falling in himself several times, he landed on the other side and immediately began to sniff the air for any sign of civilization.  
  
'Kuso! I can't smell anything in this mess!' Kagome began shiver more violently, her eyes crusted closed in ice and he held her as close to himself as he possibly could before he began to run once again at top speed.  
  
No longer quite so many hours ahead of the other two, Inu Yasha shivered in his sleep, something cold like ice settling upon his stomach.  
  
Considering Kouga's already exemplementory speeds already amplified by jewel shards and now with the added bonus of a terrifying adrenalin rush, it wasn't too long until they stumbled upon shelter in the form of a small shack. He paused to breathe a small sigh of relief as he slowed his pace before coming upon the small speck he recognized in the distance. He knew that at his current speed, if he didn't start to stop now, the snow displaced in his stop would bury the place. Being preoccupied with that, he didn't even realize how rundown the place was.  
  
Almost considering leaving the place to go in search of a better one, he opened the door and stepped inside. Taking in its small dimensions, he abruptly shook the snow from himself and his companion. Within the minute confines of the building was one small fireplace, no wood, a small pile of hay in the corner, and a small cooking pot. Things did not look good in his opinion as he set her down on the pile of hay, letting her pack fall to the side.  
  
"Kagome? Kagome-chan? Daijoubou?"   
  
She didn't respond.  
  
"Kagome…you've gotta wake up! I don't know what to do for you!"  
  
Her lips took an eerie tone of blue and her skin was ivory pale. He shivered involuntarily at the sight.  
  
"Ok Kouga," he began to himself. "You have to do something, but what?"  
  
He tried to think of something, anything, but never had anyone in his clan ever had such a problem, the hide of a demon being so strong.  
  
He looked back at her, "Kagome, you've gotta give me something!"  
  
It was then that his eyes caught a hold of that yellow pack of hers, that glorious yellow bag that always seemed to hold the answers in the past. Quickly he broke open the clasp and turned the bag over, spilling its contents all over the floor. Immediately he spotted two things he recognized, one being a blanket, which he instinctively draped over her, and the other being the mystical box she called a first aid kit. Inside he knew there were these things she called bandages and gauze that had always cured him to no avail before and he considered just wrapping her up in them and waiting the moments for her to get better. In his mind he saw himself wrapping her up like a mummy one moment and the next her jumping into his arms thanking him. He imagined her color turning to normal and the shivering stopping. Yeah, that's what he'd do he thought to himself.  
  
Without more ado he ripped the box open with much gusto, its contents sent soaring into the air and a big book flying high above the rest…and landing directly onto his head. He pulled the open book from his face and laid it on the floor before scurrying over to the gauze. However, luckily for Kagome and him as well, he noticed the pictures inside the book. The woman inside was the same color as Kagome, which drew his attention.  
  
He picked up the book and held it up to his face as he sounded out the word in bold at its top.   
  
"Hy-po-ther-mi-a…"  
  
Now here's the problem, although Kouga could read Japanese just fine and the book itself was in Japanese, there is a BIG difference between modern and feudal Japanese. Fortunately though, Kouga could decipher a few words and understood the pictures…which caused him to gulp and sweat drop considerably.  
  
According to the few words and many pictures, Kagome was in serious trouble and if he didn't do something soon she would never wake up again. To ensure that this would not happen, he would…gulp…have to remove Kagome's clothes…then… (Panic)…he'd have to remove his clothes…and…and…and…he'd have to curl up next to her and warm her with his body heat.  
  
Now to the average male this seems like a jolly old time, however, to this male it seemed like a variety of unpleasentries including things such as a certain hanyou ripping his intestines out or his own personal sit collar. Fortunately for Kagome, the thought of losing her forever ruled over all other thoughts as Kouga cautiously stalked over to take care of her.  
  
Being careful as possible, he removed her shoes, then socks and moved his way up until all that were left were her strange undergarments. He breathed deeply as his heart beat rapidly in terror as he removed them, the thought of experiencing a thousand 'sits' and Inu Yasha's claws racing through his mind as he went. 'Damned if I do, damned if I don't,' rumbled through his head as the only source of coherence.  
  
In the distance Inu Yasha growled in his sleep, his mind seething and dreaming about ripping Kouga to shreds. Something really disturbed him that night and only the thought that Kagome was probably still safe at home was the only thing that kept him from seeking that mangy wolf out and fulfilling his dream.  
  
Back to that particular panicked wolf, he was busy undressing himself at the moment after he had passed the blanket back over his companion.  
  
'Oh Kami-sama am I gonna get it when she wakes up,' his mind kept tumbling over and over in itself as he went.  
  
Stark naked and slightly shivering from the now missing furs from his body, he looked at the book once more trying to affirm to himself that there was no other way to do this. Finding none, he lifted the blanket off Kagome and immediately threw the blanket back in terror. He could have sworn he had seen the yellowy glint of Inu Yasha's eyes in the back of his mind and decided he couldn't exactly do it that way.  
  
Spotting those 'magical' bandages amongst the debris, an idea suddenly struck him. They were still dry and therefore applicable to Kagome. If nothing else, they would help her keep warm as well as at least delaying his untimely demise. So he picked them up and without delay wrapped the areas of Kagome that were once covered by her undergarments. Speaking of undergarments, the thought that even though she was covered, he was not, and she'd still probably kill him if he didn't rectify that problem immediately. So, he wrapped himself up as well before ambling over to Kagome and slipping under the fleece blanket with her.  
  
He took his long onyx hair from its bindings letting it tumble over the both of them as he pulled her closely to him. Knowing full well that this could quite possibly be the last night of his life, he placed a tender kiss upon her cheek and nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck. Her skin was incredibly soft, he mused to himself before he let his soulless blue eyes droop. At least the last night of his life would be spent in her company.  
  
Early as the morning sun rose, Kouga woke up to a sight that would be forever engrained in his mind. The golden rays of the sun, amplified in intensity by the freshly fallen snow, beamed in on Kagome's sleeping form. Somewhere in the middle of the night, she had turned in her sleep and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, her face buried in his chest. Her lips were at just about his breastbone, her warm moist breath brushing against his skin in accompaniment with her petal soft lips. God, he didn't want to move, he just wanted to stay in that moment forever frozen in time. In spite of this, if Kagome were to wake up in her current position, he might not live to tell the tale.  
  
"Inu…Yasha…you're so warm…" she mumbled in her sleep.  
  
'Oh yeah,' he thought to himself. 'This is so gonna work out. I think it's time for me to get up.'  
  
With that he sourly peeled her warm form from his and proceeded to pick up his clothes to dress himself while she slept.  
  
Unknowing as to how close they were in actuality, the winds shifted, and suddenly Kouga and Kagome were now upwind to Inu Yasha. Instantaneously, he picked up her scent and that of 'That Damn Wolf.'   
  
"Kagome?" He sniffed the air again. "Kagome!"  
  
Upon instinct Inu Yasha ran in their direction at lightning speed, the scent of the wolf causing him to draw his sword even before reaching the door. Upon arrival he slammed open the door causing the newfound wind to swipe the blanket from Kagome's nearly nude form and he discovered 'Wolf Boy' drawing up his pants.  
  
"Inu… Yasha…?" came the stunned words from the poor 'Wolf Boy', followed by an, "AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!! I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP!"  
  
It was then Kagome woke up.  
  
"What were you doing you mangy wolf? Why were you alone in this shack with MY Kagome and your pants down?! Huh mutt?!"  
  
"INU YASHA! SIT!"  
  
Face smashed into the floor, Inu Yasha muttered, "Wch the fck wlf af or Kglomf?"  
  
In her hand Kagome held the first aid book, open to the page of Hypothermia .  
  
"He saved my life," she stated simply enough. "You can't kill him, however…" She drew in a deep breath and the words 'I've been waiting to do this' were etched in her expression as she released it, "IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR STUPIDITY AND PRIDE FOR NOT TAKING ME, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! INU YASHA! SIT!"   
  
Just as he had been peeling his face from the splinters below, it was sent smashing inwards once again in the dizzying effect of eating the floor.   
  
Wrapping the blanket around herself and blushing all the way, Kagome stepped up to Kouga, planting one small kiss on his cheek before speaking.  
  
"Thank you, Kouga."  
  
She then proceeded to walk towards the back of the cabin to place on her clothes while Kouga rubbed the tingling sensation she left on his cheek as if to burn it forever in its place.   
  
"What?!" he yelled at the hanyou as he received a seething death glare.  
  
'Inu Yasha seething with envy on the floor and a honest kiss from Kagome. I guess this experience was not as bad as I thought it was,' Kouga thought to himself as he tied back his hair once more and walked out the door, directly into Kagome.  
  
"AIIIIEEEEE! HENTAI!"   
  
*SMACK!*  
  
Kouga's comrades found him later, unconscious and on the snowy floor with the most peculiar grin set into his face. This was one mystery the demon world would never live to solve.  
  
~Fin 


End file.
